First Look Alternatives

A few weeks ago, I updated my “What Is A First Look” blog post. I added a bunch of new photos, told some new stories, and expounded even further on my list of First Look Pros vs. Cons. But, as I was writing that post, it got me thinking: what are some alternatives to doing a First Look? What if a couple wants to stick to the traditional route of staying completely separate from each other the morning of the wedding & see each other for the first time as the bride walks down the aisle?

The way I see it, the two biggest benefits for doing a First Look are:
1. It relieves anxiety & pressure and calms nerves
2. It gives additional time on the wedding day for portraits & thus additional time to visit with guests

If a couple is completely set on not doing a First Look, that 2nd benefit fades completely away. There is simply no way for us to recover the time that doing a First Look & portraits prior to the ceremony delivers. That being said, my alternatives all focus on replicating the 1st benefit I listed above: relieving anxiety & pressure and calming nerves.

First Look Alternatives

Handwritten Love Notes and/or Gifts

There is just something so special about taking time to sit down and, in your own handwriting, spill out your thoughts & feelings onto paper. You don’t have to be a prolific writer, have beautiful handwriting, or write for pages and pages – but getting all of the anxious, happy, and excited thoughts out of your head and onto paper can be so beneficial! Sit down and write out a card or note the night before the wedding or as you’re beginning to get ready the day-of, and then have a bridesmaid or groomsmen deliver your love note to the other person. It can be a surprise, but there’s nothing wrong with planning for it either! And, if you can, wait until your photographer and videographer arrive to deliver those love notes – those moments make for really touching photos & videos!
Additionally, some couples also send little gifts to each other along with their notes. If you know your person is a “gifts” kind of person, this is an especially smart move! And again, there’s nothing wrong with planning these things out! In other words: if you (as the bride) have plans to write out a lovely little note & send your groom a gift and are secretly hoping he does the same – just tell him about it & let him know what your wishes are. There are definitely some guys out there who think about these things, but most simply aren’t thinking that far ahead or in that great of detail. So, talk about it, let him know you’ll be sending him over something the morning of the wedding, and let him know it would be nice if he did the same.

Holding Hands – The “Invisible” First Look

I’m sure you’ve seen the photos on Pinterest of what I like to think of as the “invisible” First Look – they seem to be everywhere! The bride & groom stand on opposite sides of a door or corner and reach around to hold hands prior to the ceremony (another slight variation, if a door or corner is not available, is to blindfold the groom & slowly back the bride & groom toward each other so that they stand back-to-back). They can’t see each other, but when the photographer stands back, she can see both the bride & the groom. These moments tend to be super emotionally charged & allow a couple to let off just enough emotion to not be absolutely bursting as they walk down the aisle.
While holding hands, it is common for a couple to talk to each other, see how the other’s morning is going, give any last minute instructions, and pray with each other.

First Look with Dad

If the bride knows she’s going to simply be an overwhelming bundle of nerves, sometimes taking just a little bit of the pressure off by setting up a “First Look” with Dad or a fatherly figure can really help! More often than not, the anxiety of a wedding day comes from seeing people (in it’s very simplest terms) – so setting up a moment to see your Dad or Grandfather (or another fatherly figure) can help to relieve some of that pressure of other people seeing you. Their reaction to you looking your absolute best will help solidify the fact that your wedding day is real & actually happening!

What do you think?
Have you seen any other alternatives to doing a First Look that you thought were interesting or unique? I’d love it if you’d leave me a comment & share your experiences!