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As a bride & groom – on your wedding day you make it thru all the prep & getting ready, you get into your dress and tux, everyone arrives to the church on time (ding!), the ceremony happens – it’s beautiful, there isn’t a dry eye in the house – you are pronounced husband & wife – WHEW the hard part is OVER. Time to parrr-tay!!
But just a moment there – there’s a few formal things we need to do first.
And at the top of the list is family formal portraits. (Bleh.)
I know, it’s a fairly boring part of the day (I mean, at least portraits with your bridal party are full of cheering & laughing and portraits with your new spouse are full of kissing & soaking in the fact that you’re married!) But, family portraits can be a bit of a drag.
Thankfully, with 10+ years of wedding day experience, I can move thru a family formal list like nobody’s business. But those 10+ years of experience have led me to this semi-startling conclusion:
Who do you think are the most “challenging” culprits when it comes to family photos on a wedding day?
Your brain probably goes to kids first – I mean yeah, they’re definitely a challenge! But let’s be honest: most of the time – parents have amped their little ones up so much for this wedding day that they are okay to be in a few family photos (especially if Mom or Dad can hold them or they can stand next to the bride & groom – or if all else fails, there’s always bribery).
Ready for a shock?
The most challenging culprits when it comes to family formals is: Grandparents
I know, you probably think I’m crazy, but hear me out:
Grandparents should be the easiest participants when it comes to family photos – after all, they’ve been around the longest & most likely done this at least a few times (if they have not been IN the family photos themselves – they’ve seen it happen at at least 100 weddings – family photos do happen, as a matter of fact, at every single wedding).
So, Grandparents should be the old pros at this family formal thing – but more often than not, I find that Grandparents are the most challenging. And this is for several reasons:
1. No one told them that they would be included in family photos
I know, I KNOW, it should just be ASSUMED that Grandma will be in family photos – but I promise, if you don’t talk to her leading up to the wedding, she will not know she needs to stick around. She’ll get caught up in the hustle & bustle after a wedding ceremony – and without thinking, some Great Aunt will offer to put her in their car to drive to the reception – and there Grandma goes.
SOLUTION: Tell your Grandparents that they will be included in family portraits and then tell them exactly where & when those photos will take place. (Are you doing a First Look with family photos before the ceremony? Traditional family photos after the ceremony?) Then, remind your Grandparents again the night before at the rehearsal (feel free to delegate this task!)
2. They have mobility issues
I get it – so many times with Grandparents there are canes, walkers, and/or wheelchairs involved. I promise, we can work around all of those things!
Sometimes Grandparents get really self-conscious of their mobility issues – either attempting to walk without their trusty walker or hiding away in a corner (as if we won’t find them).
SOLUTION: Assign a trusted family member (a brother, an uncle, or a close cousin) to be in charge of helping your Grandparents from wherever they might be sitting & waiting their turn, up to the altar where family photos are taking place. Having a trusted, steady person to help them will not only give them the confidence that they aren’t going to fall, but will keep family photos moving as smoothly as possible.
*And, once everyone is set, we can always hide a cane or walker behind someone (or pull it away momentarily while a Grandparent holds onto someone else’s arm). Additionally, if a Grandparent would prefer not to sit in their wheelchair, we could always find a chair that they could sit in!
3. They have a challenging time hearing the photographer’s instructions with all the commotion of the rest of the family/bridal party/lagging guests in the pews of the church
You’ve done the work of making sure your Grandparents know when & where about family photos are going to take place, we’ve got them standing up next to you at the altar of the church – now I just need them to smile & look directly into my camera.
The trouble is: so many times, Grandpa is looking off to the left or right, because someone (who is just observing) laughed or exclaimed or gestured wildly.
It’s challenging! There can be a lot of guests still lingering at the church & they can be quite distracting! All the extra noise can be very confusing, especially if a Grandparent has hearing aids that are picking up all that excess sound.
SOLUTION: clear the ceremony area of anyone who does not need to be there.
*Have your officiant announce that everyone but immediate family & bridal party members are invited to head over to cocktail hour.
My Best Tip:
If you have a family formal list (I create a list with each of my couples) – print it out & give your Grandparents (and parents) a copy. That way, as soon as the photos they are in are done – they can look at the list & with confidence that they are no longer needed – leave & go enjoy cocktail hour. After all – there are many extended family members they want to visit with & sitting at the church during family formals can be quite boring. As soon as their portion of the photos are finished, they are free to leave, get something to eat & drink, and visit with family & friends during cocktail hour.
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